Saturday, January 16, 2010
"Revenge of the Creature" and an artistic dispute at Subway
Title: Revenge of the Creature
Genre: Bad science fiction
Notable because: It's Clint Eastwood's first film appearance
Clint's subliminal message: "Check out my hair."
By-laws of The Clint Eastwood Project decree that every movie must be viewed while eating fast food in front of the TV. This led to the first artistic dispute.
Being easily swayed by advertising, Brad insisted on Subway for the new pastrami sandwich he's seen on TV. Being 15 and without economic power, Andrew had no choice.
"What do you want on that sub?" asked the guy working behind the counter.
"Make it just like they show it on TV," said Brad.
Hearing these words, Andrew became so horrified a casual observer might assume his father just released a rolling fart and simultaneously scratched his balls in public.
"Oh my God," Andrew said. "What a redneck." Then he changed his voice to supply a hillbilly accent. "Jes give me that-there sandwich I seen on the TV box."
"Do you want me to take you down right here in front of all these people?" Brad asked. "Because I'll do it."
"Try it, old man," Andrew said.
This is the tone of many of our debates.
Luckily, we found little reason to disagree on "Revenge of the Creature."
It is one of those 1950s horror movies with bad acting, a silly story line and a monster, Gill Man, that is more funny than scary. Gill Man did not even kill anyone until 53 minutes into the film.
Clint appears about 15 minutes into the movie, and only for a few seconds. The role is so small he is not listed in the credits. Clint supplies what passes for comic relief in this film.
Playing a laboratory assistant, Clint speculates that a cat has eaten a lab rat. Then he finds the rat in his own pocket! Isn't that a hoot?
Clint's hair is the most memorable part of his performance. Then 25 years old, he looks like a James Dean wannabe but his hair is piled into an impossible poof pushed to the side of his head.
"He looks like a Flock of Seagulls prototype," Andrew observed with insight beyond his years.
Watch Clint's entire breathtaking performance, in the "Mystery Science Theatre" treatment of the film, by clicking here.
As we settled into the flow of the film, our attention focused on whether the hot leading lady, Lori Nelson, would appear in a swimsuit.
We were not disappointed. We counted four swimsuit scenes, one glimpse of bra and panties, and one discrete shower scene. Once we thought we saw protruding nipples, but that may have been wishful thinking.
Next up: "Francis in the Navy."