Friday, February 18, 2011
"The Bridges of Madison County:" For God's sake Clint, shoot something
Title: The Bridges of Madison County
Notable for: Being a chick flick
Coolest thing Clint does: Umm ... Huh, nothing pops to mind.
Jeering began before the first line of dialog. "Grow a pair, Clint!" we yelled. "Make something explode!"
This was the day dreaded most since early formative stages of The Clint Eastwood Project. It was the day to watch "The Bridges of Madison County."
As almost everyone knows, "The Bridges of Madison County" is Clint's only movie aimed at a female audience.
Nothing is blown up. No one is shot with a harpoon gun. No one chases anyone on foot or in a car, a helicopter, a motorcycle, or a jet fighter plane. There is no suspense in the story and no stunt work in the film.
It is a movie about relationships. Specifically, Clint's four-day, deeply loving romantic relationship with Meryl Streep, who unleashes yet another accent.
The story is easy to summarize because almost nothing happens. Clint plays a roving photographer in 1965 who falls in love with an Iowa housewife played by Streep. Inevitably, they must part after four magical days of slow dances, sensitive smiles and bathtub sex. The story is told as a flashback from decades later, when Streep's adult children discover the affair after her death.
The excitement builds as we watch Clint appreciate good light, peel carrots, be polite, and pick flowers.
"I think I need everyone," Clint says. "I love people. I'd like to meet them all."
Good God, Clint.
Andrew has reached a milestone in The Clint Eastwood Project because "The Bridges of Madison County" was the first Clint Eastwood movie released after his birth.
He gives the film a low score on the Clint-O-Meter, but contends it is not bad for what it tried to be. Brad says it did not try to be a movie he wants to watch. To him, the best parts came when the stars, Clint and Meryl, were off screen.
We're not sure why Clint decided to do this, but we thank him for doing it only once. We need male icons to be iconic.
Next up: "Casper." That's right, "Casper." This shows how absurd we've become about seeing this job through completely.